Mother heart of God

Alivia,

Now before anyone gets the idea that I'm all crazy feminist, I don't believe God is a woman :) I do however know that if God said he made man and woman in His image, there are certain characteristics that mothers have that are a part of God's heart...hence the title, the 'mother heart of God.'



Gee golly, I just love that toothless mouth! But I digress...

So the other day I was praying and asking God to show me more of His character. And as He's been doing lately, He did it through my love for you. See your bedtime routine consists of a diaper change, pajamas, nursing, mom and dad singing songs to you (always ending with Jesus Loves Me), and us praying for you and for others. As you sleep and we pray, we get to snuggle and cuddle you. It is the sweetest and saddest time of my day.

I love, love, love to cuddle you and hold you when you sleep. You are so precious; so innocent; so tiny and trusting. I get such a swell of love and emotion in these moments. I'm sad that during these sweet times I have to give you up to your crib for the night. And although I hate to admit it, I kind of look forward to you waking up in the night (argh) so I can snuggle you again. I really love the mornings when you are well-rested and so sweet and smiley...I actually (although I'm tired and want more sleep) LOVE those morning wake ups.



Which brings me to God. In the same way that I love you and long to see you again in the morning, God longs for me to spend time connecting with Him in prayer and worship. He longs for it much more than I long to spend time with you. His love is sooo much stronger; my intense love for you doesn't even do His justice. In the same way I so want to give you a life full of love, protection, joy and blessing, He wants to do the same for you and me even more so.

I truly can't fathom the fullness of the love of God but if His love is stronger than life, death, or anything else in this world, I know He's got a Mother's heart of love.

I love you and so does Jesus.

Love, your momma

Precious Moments

Livy,
I love being your mom. In the past 6.5 months you've given me many precious moments to treasure. These are the moments I wish I could freeze and remember crystal clearly for the rest of my life -- my heart almost hurts with how precious you are to me.

These are the moments I want to remember forever:

Shhhh. The first night of your life your daddy placed his hands on each of your cheeks and shushed you and calmed you down gently as you lay in your bassinet.



Sleep smiles. Although I knew it was an unconscious twitch of your mouth, it was still the cutest thing EVER to that point. After seeing that little smile, I knew it would be the end of me to see you really smile at me and frankly, it was. Can't get enough of your sweet smiles.



Baby burrito -- you enjoyed being swaddled for about 3 1/2 months and after your taste of freedom, you never wanted to go back. So glad we got some pics of your burrito!



Sleeping like a baby. Oh yes, the old laying on your back with both arms up by your head position. I tried it and it's not that comfortable. But when you were a baby, you seemed to love it.




Dreaming of milk. Yeah, you would dream of milk (we think) and make the mouth motions to boot. Cute, cute, cute.

Lazy day naps. For the first 3 or 4 months of your life, I would nap with you on the couch in the living room just about every day. I loved snuggling and hugging you and waking up to you in my arms. No better feeling.



Nursing (no pics of this on the internet!). I love it when you stop eating, turn your head to look at me and then give me a huge smile. You don't care if the milk is squirting you in the face :) I care, but then again, it's so funny, I don't care THAT much.

Pout. Ooooh that pout. This may help you get your way a time or two in your life; it's just so doggone cute.



I definitely could go on and on but something tells me this post is long enough already. Gush, gush, gush. All I can say is that if 6.5 months have given me so many precious memories, I can only imagine what's in store for us. May God protect you and give you a long life, fully of love, laughter, and special memories of your own.

Love, momma

Bringing home baby!

Livy,

Right now my sleep bank has a negative balance. Before you were born, every parent encouraged me to "get as much sleep as you can now because you won't be sleeping once she comes." Well, apparently all of my sleep deposits have been quickly withdrawn. In fact, I was kind of over the top with getting back into the swing of things right after you were born. Next time, I plan on taking naps and sleeping more when family comes to visit those first few weeks. If/when you have a baby, feel free to take a nap while I visit my grandbaby :)

By the time you were 2 weeks old you had already been to Disney's Animal Kingdom with your cousin and on a nature walk to see gators about 20 feet away from us.

Although we had family with us to watch you we DID NOT nap at all. I'm pretty sure I was running on pure adrenaline for those first 2 weeks and I just couldn't get enough of staring at you.

When we visited Minnesota, Mike's best friend's wife just had a baby and we met her at 10 days old. The little newborn was crying and still mixing up days and nights and I easily remembered those days of pure exhaustion, extreme joy, and being at a complete loss for what to do with you when you cried.

You are 6 months old now and still not sleeping through the night. I'm still exhausted some days but it's all worth it when I see you standing up in your crib, smiling that huge, toothless smile as you wait for me to get you out of your crib (sometimes, there isn't a smile but big old tears and my heart just longs to comfort you).

If I were to go back and tell my pregnant self some advice I would say "sleep now because you won't get as much sleep when she's born BUT the time you spend not sleeping with your baby is soooo worth it."

Yes, we've had our struggles (emotionally and physically) with your sleep habits (or lack thereof) but I'm also getting some perspective. These days won't last forever and the times when you wake up in the middle of the night are precious. You are the most snuggly during those middle of the night feedings and you love to cuddle and hug. I will miss those sweet moments the most when you sleep through the night.

Nonetheless, its time for my sleep bank to get a good deposit :)

Love, momma