A Good Man is Hard to Find....

....but well worth the wait.

I know you've just turned 1 but it's never too early to be giving you some good advice on boys.

I've met a lot of people who have been so hurt by their past romantic relationships and I do not want you to experience that same kind of pain; it can be scarring. One of the most important lessons I want you to learn is that you are valuable, beautiful, and worthy of love no matter what any other person may tell you. As you grow into more and more of the person God created you to be, I pray that you have this God-given self-confidence; proud of the person you are and the abilities you have. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don't compare yourself to anyone else.

Don't waste your time thinking about "so and so has a boyfriend, why don't I?"

Don't kiss a bunch of frogs hoping that they'll turn into Prince Charming. Only kiss your prince...he's the only one who deserves your affections.

Don't settle. You deserve the best and someone who brings the best out of you.



These are the characteristics I appreciate about your daddy:
Integrity
Loving
Kind
Generous
Intelligent
Funny
Thinks outside of the box
Hard worker
Patient
Compassionate
Gentle -- especially to you
Fun -- he loves to goof around with you and play
Wise
Financially responsible
Handsome :)
Godly

These are just some of the things I love about your daddy and I hope and pray that he is a good model to you of what a loving man is. Yes, a good man is sometimes hard to find...but well worth the wait. Be encouraged; we are praying for your husband to be a God-loving/Livy-loving man even now. Be patient, my daughter. The wait seems long but is nothing in comparison to the joy you will experience once you realize what a gift God gives you in the right time.


I love you my darling daughter. I love this picture of the gentleness of your daddy cradling you when you were a newborn.

"Don't compare your love story to those you watch in the movies. Those are written by scriptwriters. Yours is written by GOD."

Love, momma

10 Things I love About You

Livy Bean,

Today I took you outside to "play" this afternoon -- you pushed around your little Alligator Push Toy on the sidewalk for a bit but got distracted by the leaves, sticks and acorns on the ground. I don't think you're gonna mind getting dirty and play in the sand or dirt at all :)

But I started thinking about what makes you YOU and how much I love those qualities in you. So here's a very abbreviated list (there's waaaaay more than 10 things) of what I love about you.

1. Your head: You have the cutest little features and profile; little upturned nose, perfectly proportioned forehead, round cheeks, and a cute little double cowlick on the back of your head. I just love that little head; I can't stop kissing it all day long! (p.s. sorry if that's really annoying, I can't help it!)



2. Your eyes: Ok, first of all, you have the most gorgeously blue eyes I've ever seen. Your eyes must be stunning to other people too because random strangers in public comment on them. One thing that is so apparent about you is that you are VERY observant. When you see something or someone new, you stare and stare until you decide that it's all ok in your world. I think your natural inclination to observe is part of a gift of discernment: you'll be able to see things in people that the average person won't see. You'll have a great compassion for them because of it.



3. Your mouth: You've started to say baby things like "dadadadada" or "babababa" or my personal favorite, after drinking milk in the middle of the night "ya ya ya ya ya." I kind of wonder if you say "ya ya ya" instead of "ma ma ma." I'm ok with that. Plus now you've got 2 teeth, which are sharp little daggers, but are so adorable!! The process of getting those teeth through the gums wasn't pretty (read: sleepless nights, cranky girl, and chewing on everything), they sure are worth the effort.



4. Your hands: When you are nursing, you often swing your hands around wildly (you just don't like to be still) but sometimes you are still enough to hold my hand or put your little fingers on my face. It's sweet. Nowadays you are using your little fingers to pick up food and smash it into your mouth...and to point (not at things, just to point). Can't wait to see what things these hands are going to paint.

5. Your laugh: Yeah, as I've mentioned in an earlier post, it is NOT easy to get you to laugh. I think it's because you are so observant and want to take everything in. However, your dad and I finally have your laughter vault cracked: You like to be bounced up and down, you like to be tickled after I say "wiggle wiggle wiggle," (random, I know), you like being tossed up in the air, getting licked by dogs, and getting raspberries from your dad. Your little giggles are so precious.

6. Snuggles!: I cannot get enough snuggles from you. I'm so glad I've nursed you because of all of the snuggles I get. Normally you are on-the-go but the moments when you nuzzle into my shoulder or crawl into my lap are so precious; I wish they could last forever.



7. Your tenacity: You are a go-getter. You don't stop until you get what you want. Although this can be a negative thing at times (when you just HAVE to put that extension cord in your mouth), its totally a good thing. You have a determined, tenacious, ambitious personality. You will set goals and achieve them and not accept anything less. I'm excited to see how this trait will propel your life forward. Use it to advance the kingdom of God!



8. Fascination: Yes, you are a baby right now and it is normal for babies to be fascinated with new things but you seem marked by fascination. I took you outside yesterday to play and you found some leaves, sticks and acorns and I literally had to pull you away from the dirt in order to take a nap. I think you were playing for an intense 30 minutes.

9. Gentleness: You have a very delicate way of touching things and playing with your toys. I can tell that you have a very peaceable, gentle, sweet spirit in you.

10. Love for dogs!: What more can I say? You absolutely LOVE dogs of all shapes and sizes. You get so giggly when they lick you or sniff you and its such a wonderful sound. Even your dad and I cannot elicit the same amount of giggles from you that a 4-legged slobbery mess can and I love it.



Of course I have a lifetime of being able to express how much I love you and I'm so grateful for all of the unique characteristics God has given you.

Love,
Your momma

Memories

Alivia,

You are one blessed little girl. We were fortunate enough to spend Thanksgiving with both sets of your grandparents and your great-grandma -- and even though we spent it at a non-traditional place (a timeshare), the circumstances of our meal didn't matter as we enjoyed time together as a family. And as always, you were the focus of all of our attentions. How special it is to be around all 4 grandparents at one time!

I'm constantly grateful for the wonderful, Godly legacy they have instilled in us -- and that was instilled in them from the generations before. We have a lineage of grace: God has been a part of your family for many, many years. I am so glad for family members who have quit smoking, or who have decided not to drink alcohol (because of alcoholism), or who have been pastors or missionaries, or who have stayed married, or who have decided to follow Christ until death because all of those Godly values have been carried down the lineage to us...to you.

There is a depth and richness to your family and I hope someday you will be grateful to know of all the people who loved the Lord and followed Him all of their days. For those alive to know you, it is our utmost prayer that you too, someday, choose to follow Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts. Psalm 145:4

Let this be recorded for future generations, so that a people not yet born will praise the LORD. Psalm 102:18

Love you,
momma

Innocence

Alivia,

"Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, will set you free" (Mumford and Sons)

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the inherent innocence and beauty in infancy. When you were just a few months old I was home alone with you and got a little freaked out by a noise (or something) and wondered if you also were afraid. The realization struck me that in fact, you were not afraid, because you had not yet learned to fear. In my opinion, you do not have the knowledge of good and evil (yet) so as such, there is a pure innocence about you that I long for myself. I wish I didn't fear violence or sickness or worry about money or even get afraid of the dark (metaphorically speaking, of course haha).

You've been sick with a cold and ear infection these past 3 weeks and it broke my heart to see you with crying eyes that questioned me "Momma, why do I feel yucky and why is this happening to me?" Your sickness made me feel sad not only because you were feeling bad but because there's a certain harshness to this world that you had not yet been exposed to. Things aren't perfect all the time; people get sick, people do violent things; there are scary things out there...and someday, you will learn this.

That loss of innocence is so very sad to me but unfortunately it is part of our human condition. For this is what we have brought on ourselves.

"Where is the hope, Momma?", you may ask me and I tell you, there is hope in all of this.

As those lyrics state, there is a love that will set you free. It will not disappoint and although you have the knowledge of good and evil, it will help you choose good, it will help you forgive, it will help you think the best about everyone and it will remind you that there is good still worth living for. Love is a very powerful thing, my sweet baby. As the Bible states: "love covers a multitude of sins" -- how much more powerful is it to choose to love and have joy in the midst of sorrow, fear or darkness? Isn't that exactly how Christ loved us?

So although someday your innocence will be gone, my hope and prayer is that you learn how to truly LOVE because I believe LOVE is greater and more valuable than innocence.

Ephesians 3: 17b-19 says: And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Love you very much.
Momma

To Laugh or Not to Laugh, that is the question....

Livster,
Ok, you crack me up; especially when you don't crack up. See I often try to pull out my best tricks to make you laugh...nothing happens. You stare...or, if I'm really lucky, you a smile pulls at your lips but MAN ALIVE, kid, it is hard to get you to laugh...unless there's a dog nearby.

Although you did some squeals and laugh/coughs at first, you never really did a huge belly laugh until you met Nana and Papa's 2 labrador retrievers. I'll remember your first belly laugh forever: we were sitting around GG's (great grandma struck) house, celebrating Papa's birthday and the dogs start wrestling and barking. All of a sudden, noises that I had never heard before came out of you. Shrieks, squeals of delight and laughs of joy!!! I mean, seriously, if I knew how hilarious you would think dogs are, I would've bought one months ago just to hear you laugh.

For a couple days afterwards, we tried to get the dogs riled up and we'd even bark like dogs to see if that would make you laugh. Nope. Didn't work. It wasn't the same. You can be a tough crowd sometimes :)

A couple of months passed since your first major laugh and we visited Nana and Papa in Illinois. Low and behold, you cracked up laughing at the dogs again and again. Now we can get you to laugh a bit with kissing you on the neck or blowing raspberries on your belly but you don't just laugh at any old thing.

I wonder if you get that from me...I love to laugh and I do laugh a lot BUT if you get me watching tv, I barely crack a smile. In fact, if I smile while watching tv or a movie, that means it was pretty stinking funny. Takes a lot for me to laugh at things that I'm supposed to laugh at. However, I find the most random stuff funny. I'd like to think you are the same; you don't laugh because you're supposed to but you notice things nobody else does and it cracks you up.




So laugh...and laugh a lot. But don't laugh just because you 'should;' laugh because you want to.

Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.


Love, momma

Mother heart of God

Alivia,

Now before anyone gets the idea that I'm all crazy feminist, I don't believe God is a woman :) I do however know that if God said he made man and woman in His image, there are certain characteristics that mothers have that are a part of God's heart...hence the title, the 'mother heart of God.'



Gee golly, I just love that toothless mouth! But I digress...

So the other day I was praying and asking God to show me more of His character. And as He's been doing lately, He did it through my love for you. See your bedtime routine consists of a diaper change, pajamas, nursing, mom and dad singing songs to you (always ending with Jesus Loves Me), and us praying for you and for others. As you sleep and we pray, we get to snuggle and cuddle you. It is the sweetest and saddest time of my day.

I love, love, love to cuddle you and hold you when you sleep. You are so precious; so innocent; so tiny and trusting. I get such a swell of love and emotion in these moments. I'm sad that during these sweet times I have to give you up to your crib for the night. And although I hate to admit it, I kind of look forward to you waking up in the night (argh) so I can snuggle you again. I really love the mornings when you are well-rested and so sweet and smiley...I actually (although I'm tired and want more sleep) LOVE those morning wake ups.



Which brings me to God. In the same way that I love you and long to see you again in the morning, God longs for me to spend time connecting with Him in prayer and worship. He longs for it much more than I long to spend time with you. His love is sooo much stronger; my intense love for you doesn't even do His justice. In the same way I so want to give you a life full of love, protection, joy and blessing, He wants to do the same for you and me even more so.

I truly can't fathom the fullness of the love of God but if His love is stronger than life, death, or anything else in this world, I know He's got a Mother's heart of love.

I love you and so does Jesus.

Love, your momma

Precious Moments

Livy,
I love being your mom. In the past 6.5 months you've given me many precious moments to treasure. These are the moments I wish I could freeze and remember crystal clearly for the rest of my life -- my heart almost hurts with how precious you are to me.

These are the moments I want to remember forever:

Shhhh. The first night of your life your daddy placed his hands on each of your cheeks and shushed you and calmed you down gently as you lay in your bassinet.



Sleep smiles. Although I knew it was an unconscious twitch of your mouth, it was still the cutest thing EVER to that point. After seeing that little smile, I knew it would be the end of me to see you really smile at me and frankly, it was. Can't get enough of your sweet smiles.



Baby burrito -- you enjoyed being swaddled for about 3 1/2 months and after your taste of freedom, you never wanted to go back. So glad we got some pics of your burrito!



Sleeping like a baby. Oh yes, the old laying on your back with both arms up by your head position. I tried it and it's not that comfortable. But when you were a baby, you seemed to love it.




Dreaming of milk. Yeah, you would dream of milk (we think) and make the mouth motions to boot. Cute, cute, cute.

Lazy day naps. For the first 3 or 4 months of your life, I would nap with you on the couch in the living room just about every day. I loved snuggling and hugging you and waking up to you in my arms. No better feeling.



Nursing (no pics of this on the internet!). I love it when you stop eating, turn your head to look at me and then give me a huge smile. You don't care if the milk is squirting you in the face :) I care, but then again, it's so funny, I don't care THAT much.

Pout. Ooooh that pout. This may help you get your way a time or two in your life; it's just so doggone cute.



I definitely could go on and on but something tells me this post is long enough already. Gush, gush, gush. All I can say is that if 6.5 months have given me so many precious memories, I can only imagine what's in store for us. May God protect you and give you a long life, fully of love, laughter, and special memories of your own.

Love, momma